Broken
by ExplosionsAreFun
Summary: If only he hadn't waited so long to tell her, they'd be happy. (One-shot challenge for DewClan)


If only I had told her sooner, I wouldn't be going through this right now.

I gazed up at the stars, knowing Dawnflight was up there, watching over me from above, but not by my side, where both of us wanted her to be.

She had soft, silky silver fur with white patches, golden yellow eyes like a sunrise, and a quiet, sweet voice. She was shy and often ignored, but an amazing huntress.

What tom wouldn't fall in love with her?

I had been told to move on, but I just couldn't. Every waking second I remembered her, and how she had died, with us confessing our love to eachother at the very last second, leaving us no time to cherish together, no time with kits, nothing at all.

All we had was longing for what could've been.

I know we'll meet again, in time, but not for a while, and every second that I'm apart from her I feel the break in my heart growing and growing.

I fear that it will crack if this goes on for much longer.

* * *

I dropped my sparrow and mouse in the fresh-kill pile. My apprentice, Hawkpaw, droped the jay he had caught next to the sparrow and mouse and purred with pride.

"That was so fun, Sunheart! I can't wait to do it tomorrow!" He bounced up and down in excitement.

"I have fighting planned for then...but if you want, I can reschedule."

"No! Fighting is better. I wanna do fighting!" He almost panicked.

"We will, but first you need to go to sleep." I purred with amusement.

"Okay! Thanks Sunheart!" He dashed off to the apprentice's den, before I changed my mind again.

The sun was lowering in the sky, and I was completely tired out. I had been woken up early to organize the day's patrols and lead the Dawn patrol, and after that my sister, Goldenstream, had asked me to take care of her kits so that she and her mate could go hunting together, and though there was just three, they were really hard to control. Once sunhigh rolled around and they were back, I took Hawkpaw out, who had slept in late and was full of energy. We had been out mastering hunting brds, and it was even more tiring in the blistering heat of green-leaf. I was ready to collapse into my soft nest and fall asleep.

Well, almost. First I had to go talk to Goldenstream about her kit's mentors.

When I had accepted the position of Deputy, I didn't think about how much work it would be.

I padded into the nursery to see her kits bouncing off the walls as usual, and disturbing Snowblaze's kits, which had just been born yesterday and were asleep.

"Mommy, when will their eyes open?"

"Are they broken?"

"Why won't they move?"

Goldenstream pulled the kits away from Snowblaze, who was purring with amusement. She held them in place by putting her paw on their tails.

"Hey Sunheart," the golden she-cat greeted. "What brings you here? Oh, and thanks for watching them earlier. Graytail and I hardly get a moment alone to just talk anymore."

"Hey Goldenstream," I replied. "Anytime. And I'm here to discuss mentors for your kits. Well, I was...but they seem to be distracting you right now. Maybe I should come back next moon?"

The kits, who had escaped their mother and were bothering Snowblaze with more questions, suddenly stopped and were silent, watching me.

"No! No! We're good kits, we're distracting no one. We should get mentors now." Owlkit's already big brown eyes widened.

"Yes, we'll be quiet," SIlverkit assured.

Flamekit simply nodded. He had always been more quiet than his siblings. But that really meant nothing- he still talked too much.

I purred. "Okay, good. Goldenstream, do you have anyone in particular you want to mentor your kits?

"Not really. I-"

A terrified yowl from outside the nursery interrupted our conversation. "BRIGHTSONG!"

I dashed outside immediately to see what was happening.

Gorseheart stood at the camp entrance, panic in his eyes and blood stains on his pelt. Brightsong, the medicine cat, dashed otuside of her den, already holding herbs in her mouth, "What?" It was barely understandable around the leaves.

"Come quickly, it's Dawnflight! She's in trouble..." The tom spotted me. "Sunheart! You should come too. We might have to fight."

I nodded and ran out of camp after Gorseheart. When we arrived to the clearing, I was shocked.

Dawnflight lay next to a bush, her normally clean and sleek silver-and-white fur tainted red with blood. Her apprentice, Ivypaw, was using what little she knew of herbs and trying to help her. I remembered sending Gorseheart, Ivypaw, Dawnflight, and Brackenstorm out on the dusk patrol, but Brackenstorm was nowhere to be seen.

Brightsong raced over to Dawnflight and began work on her, trying to heal her. Panic rose in my throat. She had to be okay. She just had to. I felt my heart beat faster and I walked over to her side. A deep gash ran from the base of her shoulder down to her hind leg. It looked like it had just stopped bleeding. Dawnflight looked barely there- she was almost knocked out, but not quite. I could hardly imagine the pain she was going through.

"Brightsong..."

"I'm doing my best, but I can't say anything for sure. Ivypaw, go get some cobwebs." The gray apprentice nodded swiftly and dashed off.

Gorseheart walked over to join us. "A fox attacked. Brackenstorm and I did most of the fighting to stop them from getting hurt. We tried to send Ivypaw to go get help, but she refused and tried to help us attack it. Dawnflight pushed her out of the way just in time, but..." He sighed. "You see what happened to her. The fox ran away after that, but Brackenstorm chased after it. He should be back soon."

Ivypaw returned with cobwebs, and she and Brightsong went back to work on Dawnflight. I watched with worry. I had been in love with Dawnflight since I was an apprentice, and I couldn't lose her, not like this. She didn't even know about my feelings yet.

What if she died and I hadn't told her?

Brightsong sighed and met Dawnflight's eyes. "I've done all I can..."

Dawnflight coughed up blood and let out a weak purr. "It's okay, Brightsong. You did your best."

Brightsong closed her eyes and pressed her nose into the dying she-cat's fur, then backed away, looking at me. "I'll leave you alone with her." Gorseheart and Ivypaw followed her.

"Dawnflight..." I murmered, feeling hollow. She couldn't be dying. No, this wasn't possible.

"Sunheart, it's okay. I'll be in StarClan. I'll see my mother again."

"Dawnflight, I have to tell you...I love you, and I always have."

"I..." she paused, coughing. "I love you too."

And then she was gone. Her body went limp and the shine in her eyes dulled into nothing.

I let out a yowl of misery and fell down, collapsing. It was too much for me to handle.

* * *

I watched him from the Viewing Pond in StarClan.

I could tell he was remembering me. He was gazing up at the stars on a lonely hill at the edge of territory.

I wished he would just move on, but we both knew he couldn't.

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh, then descended back down the hill and back into the forest, in the direction of camp.

I put my paw into the water and the image dissolved.

I know we'll meet again, in time, but not for a while, and every second that I'm apart from him I feel the break in my heart growing and growing.

I fear that it will crack if this goes on for much longer.


End file.
